Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
