Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
