She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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