okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
