That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
