My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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