i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Randomize
