Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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