Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
