New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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