btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
