He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
