ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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