You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
