sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
