the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
