wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize