They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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