why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Are we still banned from the library?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
