And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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