she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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