Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
When are your genitals available?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Randomize
