Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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