CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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