I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
only you would photoshop your dick
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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