My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
You left your phone here
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