he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
