3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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