worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
