how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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