theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Randomize
