Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
