It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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