why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
