went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Randomize