If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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