So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
