she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
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