I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
