Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
