Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
