The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
