this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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