I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
