i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize