I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
