At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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