I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
