I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
