3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
There's even glitter on my cock...
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