Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
one two three fourrrrnication!
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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