i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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