I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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