yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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