drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
