If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
