you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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