she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
