I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
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