I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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