I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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