You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
