this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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